Waiting on the Lord...

The other day, at Hope International School, we were filthy with red dirt.  It's just par for the course here, as so many kids, ripe with red dirt themselves, love to play, hug, sit on, and hold hands with their "mzungu" friends. So like normal,  I told Sophie to walk over to the water tank to wash her hands.  She turned the faucet on, the water poured, and she began to rinse. (You can see the tank in the wee background of the picture) 

Even in the chaotic midst of 200 children at recess, it wasn't two seconds before a very sharp-eyed teacher cautiously said, "Sophie - turn off the water. Turn it off."  I turned and made sure Sophie wasn't doing something wrong.  At the sight of her quickly shutting off the faucet, it occurred to me that we've been in the dry season. Two months now without rain.  The tanks were near empty, and washing hands was not a necessity. I stood, momentarily embarrassed, by my lack of sensitivity to an issue so personal to their lives.

I know what it means to be in a drought. I live in a lake community at home. A community that very often sees recreational fishermen unable to launch boats for months on end due to low lake levels. My neighborhood, like many others, gives "Water Level Warnings" and limits the days when we can water lawns. Prayers for rain can be heard from farmers, churches, and in general conversation all around town.   Droughts are a big deal in Texas.

But here, lack of water takes on a different meaning.  No rain in the Bwerenga village means not just extra caution, but extra everything. Extra work to maintain livelihood in a village that doesn't have a public water system.  More children walking with jerry cans to collect water. Crops that are sold can fail and no income is received....income that is needed for daily survival. A reliance on tanks turns to reliance on God to fill those tanks - with rain.

Mama Catherine's home is one of the few houses in Bwerenga that has an actual toilet. 20+ people living in her home, and something as simple as a toilet is huge.  But once again, no water system means each flush has to be poured in, and in the middle of the dry season, pouring in water for the toilet becomes a luxury. 

So all this to say, there's been an awful lot of patient waiting on the Lord in Bwerenga.  I've yet to hear a complaint, just conversations of prayers for rain. And in a sense, I feel their prayers are heard out of sheer necessity.  

This Friday, there was a downpour while we were there.  The children were crammed in their little school rooms, unable to play at recess.  My flip flops were caked with mud, and the sweet teacher assistant gave us an umbrella that helped little.  And in the middle of the storm, the teacher sang with the kids "Rain, rain, go away, come again another day - the little children want to play!"   

The irony of it was their smiles were big and everyone was joyful.

The Lord had answered their prayers.

SIDE NOTE: Not to bring this around back around to us, but I'm gonna bring this back to us.

My family has made the decision to head back to the good 'ol USA at the end of our year in July.  It was a hard decision to make. We truly love the 60 Feet family we have here with our new friends. But we truly miss family at home, too.  To sacrifice to come here was an easy choice. Really, it was. I heard God loud and clear, and obedience was the only choice.  But to make the decision to go home, back to our comforts, when we could stay here another year or more.....that was way more difficult. It almost felt like we were giving in.  I didn't hear God as clearly on this one, to be honest. I felt as if He was saying, "I'm with you if you go, I'm with you if you stay."  So we will be coming home.  I would like to invite you to pray with us as we patiently wait on the Lord.  We are hoping to transition back into our home, back into the girl's same school, back into our jobs. That's not a guarantee.   So please pray with us, as we wait for the Lord to provide what we need. He always has, and when He does, there will definitely be big smiles and joy on our end here!

Sophie Turns 5 - IN AFRICA!!

I'm a little late in posting this, but my baby....my BABY...turned 5 last month. In Uganda.  No words at the coolness of that factor. I can see it now, Sophie in kindergarden, "So my birthday party last year had chameleons and turtles and a bouncy house....in January!"  All the kids, "Yeah, sure...".  

But it really did.  In Texas, Sophie never really has had much of a birthday party sad to say.  They've been mostly cakes (always cakes!) with family at our house because the weather is so stinkin' cold! Grace's birthday is in May, so she's had the full experience of outdoor parties, swimming parties, and what. (Threw in a little African lingo there...and what?)   So for Sophie, we decided to do it up right.  

Unfortunately, that's somewhat of an effort here in Uganda.  Thankfully, THANKFULLY, our friend, Odong, "had a guy".....he always "has a guy" : )....that could rent us a bouncy house for not that much.  And a few months back, I saved a flyer that I saw of a Ugandan lady who makes cakes - legit cakes.  Hard to find here.  So a few phonecalls, emails, and one interesting cake pick-up by my hubs (let's just say the cake maker's home wasn't in an easy to find location)....and voila!  A unicorn theme party for Sophie!

But here's the rub.   We've only been here 6 months...7 now, excuse me.  We have lots of acquaintances, but really, there's just one family whose children my girls play with on a regular basis! It was a little sad for me, I don't know why, to just have one family come party with us....not at all like back home where the family and friends are around every corner.  Thankfully, Sophie didn't care and had a great day - her day! She latched on the phrase, "The birthday girl gets to do it first!!" 

This girl.  She's spirited, imaginative, always cheerful....looks super sad/awful if you ever get onto her, so therefore makes it super hard to get on to her....most of her day she spends in a dream world where she is a cat, horse, unicorn, what have you with a red/white mane, red nose, and all kinds of details that only she can see.  

We love this girl. Who's 5. In Africa.

Thief of Joy

 Trails to Run in Uganda

I remember back in 2008 (gosh, 6 years ago now!) when Boog ran his first marathon with our friend from California.  Then later, he crossed over to trail running and began small - a 10k here, a 25k there. Soon came the 50 miler. Then the 100k....He always remembers when he first started running trails, struggling with a 25k, he would look over at the guy next to him and say, "What are you running today?".  Sometimes the response would be, "Just a 50 miler..."

Comparison can totally be the thief of joy, right??

And really, comparison might not be the right word. It's more perspective.  And here is where this blog begins.

Last year, when we came over during our summer and volunteered with 60 Feet, two months seemed like an incredibly long time.  From the perspective of folks like us, who had been on several "mission trips" of the week/two week kind, two months was quite a stretch.

Then, we commit to a year.  A year seemed like forever when we set off...until we arrived and started meeting other Americans (or Australians or Brits or Dutch) who looked a bit incredulous when we said we're here for "just a year".  "Why, you are barely getting to know the place after a year!" was a common response we heard (their perspective!).  In talking, we've found so many ex-pats who haven't just committed to 3-5 years, but are here indefinitely.  Sold their homes, sold their stuff, sold their lives back home to create a life abroad. Their children go to international schools or are at boarding schools in Kenya. They've taken the time to hang pictures on their walls (a big sign that you are settling in) and accepted the fact that once-a -year furloughs back to wherever they call home are all they get.

So what seemed like a big commitment to us now, honestly, seems to pale in comparison to what technically could be called "real" commitment.

Oh....I could get bogged down in the details of that crack-crazy, slippery-slope concept.  Are we really sacrificing enough? Are we staying long enough? Have we done ENOUGH??   Good grief.  Thief of Joy.  My husband sometimes has to give me a good shake when I start to wallowing about nonsense like this....

What I  know is I am absolutely certain the hills of Kampala are a gorgeous sight to see, 

but from the perspective of the kids inside these prison walls below.....

they represent something much more than aesthetics.

Comparison at home in America (bigger house, nicer car, better job...) can definitely hog the happiness. And even here, where a friend once wisely said it's a lot of  "us dying to us",  sometimes prestige is placed on who is staying longer, who is working in the more 'dangerous' places....and the guilt of whether or not to go or stay. I find it's absolutely crazy what we humans can do to ourselves mentally!

My daughters and I had a morning bible lesson about the rich landowner who gave his three employees money to use wisely. One buried it with no gain, one invested small and profited, one invested large and smartly and received back enormous gain.  That parable can translate pretty easy .... don't squander your gifts given from God.  One gift is your abilities. The "investment" isn't about length or danger or in-country or out-of-country, it's the investment of your heart to the work.  The reward will be great if you give your heart - all of it -to what you've been called to do, in whatever country, town, or home, in whatever form, and with whatever amount of time and sacrifice you can give.

The mission of Sixty Feet is still the same.
Bring hope to the imprisoned children of Uganda.
And that comes in many forms...justice, medical, counseling, education, etc.
And the workers give of their time & hearts.
And the profit is Large.

2013, wow....

How can I begin to describe the whirlwind of a year 2013 has been for our family?  

Nuts. Just nuts.

It's the year we went from being two school teachers in a town that's not even a dot on a map, to deciding in just one week that we would move across the world to work with 60 Feet. What can I say about that decision? Just one thing. God would not let me say no.  I absolutely did not want to go, but I knew I had to say yes and my husband, wisely, allowed me to come to my own decision on that.

It's the year I began to homeschool my girls and found a great co-op to join in Kampala.

It's the year I went back to my beloved Hope International School.  Seeing familiar faces, watching my girls  (especially Grace) really pitch in and help, loving on the kiddos.....all goodness.

It's the year we joined in on our first international field trip. 

My girls got the bonus of a camel ride that day...

It's the year of an 85 degree Christmas season and decorating cookies with new friends.

 And where homemade Christmas ornaments decorated our 4 foot tree.

It's the year where my intentions were to have a small (ie. few presents) Christmas, but because of sweet  friends and family back home sending all kinds of goodies, my girls enjoyed the fun of opening many gifts!

It's the year where right after opening our own gifts, we headed to Bwerenga Village to give out gifts collected by my home church thousands of miles away....the smiles and thank you's that day were amazing.

It's the year we killed and ate our first Christmas turkey present given by our friend, Odong.

It's the year where our family and friend flew in for the holidays.  

Just in time, too, because we were missing home quite a bit during Christmas.

It's been an incredible year.  Full of faith steps, growth, growth, and more growth.

It's the year where I learned a lot about myself, to be honest. I peeled back a few ugly layers and put in some work.  It's the year where I learned that my marriage to my handsome husband isn't a cakewalk, but it certainly helps if you know you are walking it together - in love and, very often, with laughter. It's the year where I've been SO proud of my husband, too, and the work he's put in with 60 Feet Uganda.  The blessings on him with wisdom and leadership have been abundant. It's the year I'm realizing my oldest girl is growing and maturing into a young woman.  I'm currently praying about how to earn her heart and trust now....before she really starts to fly.  And at the same time, it's the year where my baby, my youngest, is turning her imagination up to full speed.  I love watching her flit around.....

and then I wonder if she's really the last?

While I am always excited about what lies ahead, I have to say 2013 will be hard to beat.

In 2014, we have some decisions to pray about ....coming home, jobs, moving forward....

so many things.  But trusting God with our obedience, 2014 will be equally as amazing.

 No matter where our location. 

Just the Girls....

Grace (9 1/2) and Sophie (one month away from 5!)

This post is all about my girls.  

There's no deep, thoughtful Africa-fied post. It's just about them. 

One of the things I love best after having blogged for so many years is getting to look back at a post and remember "Oh yea, they DID that!" or seeing pictures reminding me of a time I've long since forgotten. Baby stories like this http://www.floferrell.blogspot.com/2008/01/my-daughter-is-obsessed.html  or memories made like this http://www.floferrell.blogspot.com/2008/12/all-aboardthe-polar-express.html  are just too fun to reminisce!  

So let me remember to write about them now. Just as they are......

Grace is truly remarkable in that she seems to transcend time.  Certain times, she is fully nine.  Silly, crazy, imaginative....playful with her sister and buying stuffed animals with her money.  Other times, I feel like she's so mature in ways I never was at that age. She knows when kids are being too crazy. She loves adult meals like ceasar salads and stir fried veggies. She likes independence and chooses to walk a bit in front of her mom on these red dirt roads.  She chooses to read, read, read.....she even finished her Harry Potter book (750 pages!) in 3 days. (I had to remind her to eat and drink.)  She appreciates Africa for what it gives us as a family - lots of time together, less stress/busyness.....but she also knows that home is where the heart is and family is huge part of that heart. She is tenderhearted and can cry at the drop of a hat if she thinks she's displeased you.  She is also a good friend and loyal. She doesn't understand girl drama at all.

Sophie, at 4 (but really 5 in one month) has truly come out of her shell. Or busted out of it....it's so interesting to see how Ugandans act towards her. They like her. I mean, really like her.  She  keeps everyone laughing...right now she is fully quoting Planet Earth  videos and runs around making tiger or lion noises with her nose all squished up (sounding like a dying horse really).  She has learned nearly 25 sight words at homeschool this year and, hopefully, will start reading a few starter books next semester.  She is tough. If she falls, she'd rather say "I'm okay" than cry....even if it hurt. She is still a picky eater (chicken, PB&J's, chips...that's about it.)  Sophie can befriend a tree and it's quite often I find myself pointing to a little girl here and saying, "Sophie - go be her friend." She will go bouncing up to that said girl and be playing together in two seconds flat.

It's funny how God works out deep desires.  I've always wanted to stay at home with my girls.  But I've always enjoyed working, too.  Growing up, my mom was a bit of the 'asian-tiger-mom'. I've had a job since I was 9, I think. I like the order and structure of working....but I've always wanted to be able to take just a year and spend it with my girls.  Well, God answered that prayer by sending us to Africa.  

I'm with my girls nearly 24/7.  It's wonderful, but at the same time, I also have to remind myself to make the most of it.  That's hard because sometimes I'd love to just have a moment of breather time alone!  We've reached that glorious age where my girls can play without too much supervision....momma can do other tasks...and I have to remind myself not to get caught up in that!  Momma CAN do other tasks, but taking this year - this time - with them is so much more than about doing tasks.

I'm going to blink and they'll be in college.

I'm going to blink and they'll be moms of their own.

I'm going to blink and I'll be saying, "It all goes by so fast."

Grace & Sophie, you two are your parents' joy!  We love you!

When You Peel Back Layers....

Joy.

We all know who it comes from and that it's not circumstantial. I can choose joy in the midst of any one of the hundreds of trials life throws at me.  I can find joy in the small things...like a hummingbird at my window this morning.  I can choose joy when my kids are grumpy, when my husband did not meet my expectations, or the house is (once again) in need of cleaning.

But choosing joy is a lot harder than it seems.

I used to think it was easy. I think because back in America, if I ever began to have feelings of sadness, loneliness, what have you....I could easily "stuff it" or fill that hole by any number of things we Americans do: start a new hobby, go shopping and buy something to give a temporary satisfying "fill", visit a friend, take the kids out to eat so I don't have to face the pile of dishes at the end of cooking, sign up for another activity to keep me busy.  I never really ran out of options to temporarily give me joy. So choose joy? Sure. Easy. Let me plan something to do. Get a plan going for the day.

Here in Uganda, it's a whole different ballgame. I have been challenged with choosing joy.  There is no "shopping trip".  When the boredom of a day sets in and I have no car to go anywhere, I have to deal.  When my marriage starts to show signs of wear (not having the regular "Boog & Flo date nights" we are used to), we have to deal.  When sadness of not having family and friends close by to run and chat with, I have to deal. I have to deal with the unmet expectations, the loneliness, boredom, and all the other emotions that I don't like to deal with. There is no quick fix.  There is no filler.  You deal.

Being a "missionary family" this year has really highlighted our coping abilities. Mine, I decided, need some work.  But it's given me an incredible present. I have come face to face with my ugly.  I have peeled back layers in myself and the relationship with my husband and my children and it's exposed some areas where I really thought I had it DOWN!

How about that?  I'm 36 years old and learning some of my weaknesses actually are things I thought were my strengths in America.  That's a hard thing to look at....the ugly, the scars....and see beneath the layers upon layers of  "filler" through the years.

Psalm 16:11 has been on mine and Boog's heart now for over a year.
"You make known to me the path of life. In your presence is fullness of joy. In your right hand are pleasures forever."

It's no small note that it's absolutely one of the most challenging things for me here, personally. Finding joy in Him, regardless of circumstance, regardless of what I think I lack, regardless of my emotions.

Seeing our dear friend Pastor Earnest choose joy despite his circumstances is humbling. And it's in peeling back my own layers that I'm hopeful of growth and restoration and the promises of life more abundant.....the ability to see, feel, and know The Joy from a place so deep that knows the difference between yucky, preservative, fake filler and the real, life-giving Joy.

 My marriage is a beautiful journey. My children are my pleasure.  I have no doubt that this revelation and growth WILL be a blessing....for all of us.

Service

Thunder is in the distance. It's the rainy season, and storms can brew at any given moment.  It's night and my mosquito net is tucked in the bed around me. The girls are asleep in their bunk beds, and Boog is off to the airport for a midnight arrival of a couple who will also become part of the 60 Feet team.

This is our life in Africa.

Every week, 60 Feet hums and churns like a well-oiled machine....with the occassional need for stops and repairs along the way.  The mobile medical team departs each morning for visits to the remand centers, staff flies off in ten different directions as they meet with different organizations or government officials to build the much needed relationships that make working in an international setting more fluid and manageable. And each week, something comes up that requires everyone to sit back and remember that amidst all this "U.S. style nose to the grindstone" work, the children we serve are not commodities. They are not "projects".  They are real people.  Vulnerable.  And desperate for someone to hear their story.

You could not dream up what those "somethings" are......lists handed down of 80+ children waiting to be resettled with their families, but languishing in prison until someone can provide the research, money, transportation, and people to make it happen. Horribly run orphanages, shut down by the government, and the children sent to the government's "drop off center", meaning 40+ new kids and mouths to feed (at an already maxed out center). Shortages of clothing in the prisons. A need for toothpaste/toothbrushes for 400 kids who have never owned a toothbrush of their own.....

The situations that arise seem to be endless.  But as our team is learning, it's not just about responding to each crisis.  It's about finding the wisdom to look beyond the problem in front of you and finding the root. To not just look at the kids on the list and find the quickest way to get them back to their families (although quick is good.) But to go to the family and return, and return again, to see why the child left or was sent away to begin with and start the counsel there.

Partnership is huge.  Finding other organizations to work with so that each area of need, along the long chain of need, is served well. Just last week, my hubs and other staff members attended a town hall discussion at the U.S. Embassy to get a glimpse of what the vision is and where it's headed.  And each week, there's a new meeting set up with an organization who may provide a link in the chain.

For the girls and I, we sit on the perimeter....with much of our time being spent volunteering at a babies' home, homeschooling, and working at Hope International School (where many of 60 Feet's sponsored children attend.)  But we listen to the staff's daily struggles and small victories.  We watch as our daddy puts on a tie and drives off to meet someone in the Ministry of Gender.  We pray for each situation that arises. And we remember that God is the source of this love-offering of service....

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:34