"
Depression" is what I called it last night, to Boog. Not the kind where I need to go get medication, but a depression of the heart.
Grace and I went to Waco yesterday to see my brother-in-law get ordained as a deacon in his church. It was a sweet, simple ceremony to which I kept thinking how 90% of his large church probably didn't even realize that the man they picked to serve as deacon, was already a servant in so many ways.....full of humility, washing other's feet daily. That's just the person he is.
I planned on staying just the afternoon. Angela, however, had extended an invitation for Grace to sleepover......to which Grace told me in on the way there, in not so many words, "No, I want to sleep in
my bed tonight." BUT.....as soon as she got to "Beeler Fun House", full of new, different toys and a great pal, Landrie, she changed her tune. So I set off for home by myself, knowing Grace was in good hands, and knowing I could get a heck of a lot done with my day off on Monday!
However, as soon as I got home, my heart hurt. Our house was so quiet. I missed my little girl. I was sad she wasn't in the next room, peacefully sleeping. I just fell asleep while Boog was watching a movie.....maybe to make the time pass.
Today, as I cleaned my house and got "the stuff" done that I was wanting, I wandered in and out of Grace's room......it's sweetness and simpleness. My feelings turned from sadness to thankfulness. So thankful to have been given the opportunity to be her mother for four years......already thinking of how the future will be here too soon......wondering if the "
Marriage Masterpiece in progress" that Boog & I work on daily will give her a good example of the type of marriage and husband she wants for herself.........wondering if I'll be able to handle those tough teen years when she wants to make decisions for herself......thinking how I hope even when circumstances might not be the best, our family will always find our hope in God.....and pass that hope on to Grace.
What a responsibility a life is!
And now, adding little Sophie to the mix.......sometimes I wish I was a little more naive about parenting, like I was with Grace.......
Bible Journey- Exodus 16:5 - Exodus 17:1