Monday, October 6, 2008

I Hate Being Away From Her....

"Depression" is what I called it last night, to Boog. Not the kind where I need to go get medication, but a depression of the heart.

Grace and I went to Waco yesterday to see my brother-in-law get ordained as a deacon in his church. It was a sweet, simple ceremony to which I kept thinking how 90% of his large church probably didn't even realize that the man they picked to serve as deacon, was already a servant in so many ways.....full of humility, washing other's feet daily. That's just the person he is.

I planned on staying just the afternoon. Angela, however, had extended an invitation for Grace to sleepover......to which Grace told me in on the way there, in not so many words, "No, I want to sleep in my bed tonight." BUT.....as soon as she got to "Beeler Fun House", full of new, different toys and a great pal, Landrie, she changed her tune. So I set off for home by myself, knowing Grace was in good hands, and knowing I could get a heck of a lot done with my day off on Monday!

However, as soon as I got home, my heart hurt. Our house was so quiet. I missed my little girl. I was sad she wasn't in the next room, peacefully sleeping. I just fell asleep while Boog was watching a movie.....maybe to make the time pass.

Today, as I cleaned my house and got "the stuff" done that I was wanting, I wandered in and out of Grace's room......it's sweetness and simpleness. My feelings turned from sadness to thankfulness. So thankful to have been given the opportunity to be her mother for four years......already thinking of how the future will be here too soon......wondering if the "Marriage Masterpiece in progress" that Boog & I work on daily will give her a good example of the type of marriage and husband she wants for herself.........wondering if I'll be able to handle those tough teen years when she wants to make decisions for herself......thinking how I hope even when circumstances might not be the best, our family will always find our hope in God.....and pass that hope on to Grace.

What a responsibility a life is!

And now, adding little Sophie to the mix.......sometimes I wish I was a little more naive about parenting, like I was with Grace.......
Bible Journey- Exodus 16:5 - Exodus 17:1

8 comments:

Keri said...

I hear ya. She will be home soon.

I was in Waco this past weekend also. We went to Kiddie Land for Rance's first trip. He LOVED it! And that's an understatement.

The Allens said...

I pregnant with our first and we are already thinking of all of those things. A wonderful journey, but I agree that there is a lot of pressure...

Katie said...

Ohh, that is such a sweet post! I know exactly those thoughts about my sweet little Amelia growing up...growing up one day, and driving, and going off to college, and dating...oh my goodness. I just can't imagine it, but I know it will happen all too soon. :o) They are so precious, aren't they? More than precious!

SuperMom said...

Quit yer moaning! She is fine and she is having fun. You, on the otherhand, are not!

Or better yet, why don't you take ALL my kids so Cody and I can experience the "empty house" feeling....

Charla said...
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Charla said...
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Amy said...

I've been stalking your blog for quite some time now, but I definitely think today is the day to leave a comment.

I helped in the 4-and-5 year-old class at our church today. When I walked into the classroom, I saw a girl I knew from a blog - Grace! She was wonderful! Very mannerly, and sweet! I overheard her telling Cousin Landrie, "...and then my mom says,'No more snacks. It's almost time for dinner.'" :) Oh - and I love her little accent!

And amen to life being such a responsibility!

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