You ever just had one of those days where not much could make you smile? Now I smile alot. Alot, alot, alot. I probably smile too much. It's not a fake smile (I hope), but it comes from a place of why not smile? I'm usually thinking about the great blessings I have...like my kids. My husband. My health (minus my many mouth ulcers!). My home. Good things. Great things.
Honk if you've been here. My job stinks right now...kiddos are not behaving according to my standards (will they ever??). My hubs and I are in the "wearen'tquiteconnecting" phase (tell me I'm not the only one who's ever there). I haven't worked out in days - strike that...weeks. Strike that...months. I just got my new Athleta catalogue and boy did that make me feel good! And.....I'm just going to say it. I've been avoiding God like the plague. Ironic. He sends plagues...I'm treating Him like one.
It's a nasty place to be. That bottomless pit that you let yourself sink into.
I know I serve a God who can look past my mess and say, "Flo....get your booty back in tune with Me" and somehow make me see Him - and look past ME.
I know I have a wonderful husband, who even when we aren't 'connected', happen to be 1,000% devoted to each other and our marriage/kids.
I know this year of teaching will end. (And I know prayerfully working on my own patience will help my class 1,000%.)
I know all these things. Yet, I've been a Debbie Downer. My friend, Jenna blogged about starting her "Gratitude Journal" with a goal of 1,000+ gratitudes. I have a journal she sweetly gave me....now I just need to gain the attitude of gratitude!
So I'm apologizing via blog. Yes, via blog. I'm letting myself off the hook. Lovin' the lyrics from old school Nichole Nordeman's Mercies New. Sounds like me right now....
Is it fair to say, I was lured away?
By endless distractions and lovelier attractions then
Or fairer still, my own free will
Is the better one to blame
For the familiar mess I've made again
So I would understand, if You were out of patience
And I would understand, if I was out of chances
But Your mercies are new every morning
So let me wake with the dawn!