Wednesday, June 10, 2009

"I'm Scared!"

Every now and then, Grace will call from her room and say those words that I used to say when I was about her age......and I, being "super mommy" will comfort her and give her some lettuce to eat (that's a whole 'nother story) and do the whole "There's nothing to be scared of" song and dance. I love it because it's a chance for me to get to snuggle-bug with a daughter that so rarely wants to snuggle these days. She's already too old, too busy for that she thinks.

But as I sit here tonight, and storms are raging around our neck of the woods, I find myself in a small anxiety attack of sorts. I get like this occasionally. I sort of freak myself out when I start to really think that I....not anyone else....but me, myself, I.....am the big person here. The adult. The one who protects. Me. I've got two little lives to take care of. Two lives to assure that nothing.....nothing....will hurt them if I've got anything to do with it. When in reality, sometimes I'm scared myself! If there's a creak at night, I'M the one who wants to hide under the covers. When storms rage, I cringe and secretly hope our little house protects us. Every news headline is just one more awful reminder that I need to padlock my girls in their rooms and never let them leave my sight. (I'm starting to sound like Nemo's dad here....)

And here I am. I'm supposed to be two little girls' security blanket.

Does anyone else out there marvel at the fact that they are the adults now?
It's probably just me.

I am so thankful though, that my dear hubs would rage like a bear in the instances where I would hide under the covers. (If he ever wakes up...he's the deepest sleeper.) And before I get too many comments, I know and am thankful that God is our ultimate protector. I know, I know, I know all of that........but I still get scared. I'm human.

Anyway, just a little monologue here during a storm. It's going away now....thank goodness! My little Grace slept through it.

4 comments:

The Garners said...

I so agree! It's crazy to be "the adult"--I get scared all the time!

Jenna said...

Wow...you and Julie are on the same wave link this week! Being the "adult" to these little boys is scariest thing I have ever done!

Stephanie said...

I think about that ALL THE TIME!!! Glad to know other people feel the same way.

Miss you girl!

carolyn said...

If I didn't have to be super mom, I think I'd be hiding under the covers an awful lot. I love that I want to be brave for him (even if I'm faking it)!

Love the updated pics of your home- I know you can hardly wait!

 
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